Why This 24-Hour Self-Care Reboot Can Improve Your Committment to Self-Love, According to Dr. Mariel Buqué
Written by Keith Caulfield on February 13, 2024
The month of February is filled with all types of love, but for Black women, that can be a concept that’s hard to grasp. We fill our 24-hour days with 25 hours of work and have a mindset to do it all for others, which leaves us no time to give love to the person we’re most intimate with: ourselves. Ladies, it’s time for a 24-hour self-love reboot.
Self-love is “a revolutionary way in which we pour love onto ourselves with the intention of holding onto our worth, despite the multiple messages we receive daily that discount our value in society,” explains therapist Dr. Mariel Buqué, author of the national bestseller Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. “It’s a way to take back our power and proclaim that we are worthy of tenderness and care, just like anyone else.”
Dr. Buqué stresses that is especially critical because of how pervasive the world can be in showing a lack of love for the Black community. Self-love is how we can “resist the daily messaging that we receive,” even from ourselves. One answer is taking time out just for ourselves. “Take in the elements,” Dr. Buqué declares. “Have you any idea how vast the world is? It is massive and beautiful. There are so many earthly miracles around us waiting to be discovered.”
Armed with that knowledge, this single hardworking journalist, who confesses she has spent way too many times working until the wee hours of the morn, decided to treat myself to 24 hours of self-love.
On a Saturday morning, I hopped on the train and headed to Cambridge, Massachusetts, to spend a day and evening focused on myself. While I instinctively wanted to check emails, I tuned into some easy jams instead and relaxed into the ride.
With a room booked at Kimpton Marlowe Hotel, an IHG Hotels & Resorts boutique destination in the city, I opted for the “Bed Bath & Bubbles” overnight stay that included a luxurious, hot soak in an oversized Fuji spa tub. There was a bottle of champagne awaiting me on my arrival, along with a cheese and fruit plate and one long crystal flute just for me.
“Singleness is a gift. It’s a moment to be exploratory and curious about who you are, what you deserve, who you want to have around you that can affirm you and reinforce loving messages in your life,” Dr. Buqué shares. “It’s a moment to curate your life.”
Afte a walk and an early dinner, the soaker tub in my one bedroom suite was calling my name. Sitting in the tub surrounded by bubbles and bath salts, I felt my muscles and my mind relax.
“Moments can feel truly memorable when experienced mindfully,” Dr. Buqué advises. “Think about placing your phone on airplane mode when taking trips and truly look at the beauty around you. I can assure you that your mental health will thank you for it.”
I got a good night’s sleep so I could hit the gym on the hotel’s eighth floor the next morning. There’s something so appealing about a hotel gym; you don’t need to leave the building and sometimes you’re the only person there. After a healthy brunch of eggs and fruit at Bambara Kitchen & Bar, the hotel’s American & Mediterranean-inspired restaurant, I called a car and headed to the Newbury Street shopping district in Boston to uncover trinkets I would never buy for myself regularly.
“No one knows you better than you know yourself.” Dr. Buqué exclaims when it comes to pampering yourself. “The added bonus is that when people see how you treat yourself, they are more inclined to treat you accordingly. So, consider the possibility of treating yourself as a priority.” The new gold booties on my shoe self thank me.
And then it was time to head home. I hopped back on the train refreshed, with a new mandate: schedule in self-care weekly, even if it’s just a long walk in my neighborhood or a 20-minute face mask.
“Self-care is an act of self-devotion, but it is also a way to liberate yourself from the pervasive and persistent pains of the past,” Dr. Buqué concludes. “When you think of it that way, it makes that self-care practice, whatever you choose it to be, much more worthwhile.”
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